For too long, my pain has been dismissed.
For decades (for me), and probably even centuries, we've been told to accept pain as part of life. For me it began with the dull ache of period pain. I can still remember, as a child, my mom being stuck in bed whenever she had her periods. I remember telling her that I didn't want to get my periods since it hurt so bad.
Her message: "That's just how it is." And to be honest, I can't blame her. It is how it is.
But here's the truth: pain is not normal.
It's common, yes. Very very common. Especially for those living with conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS, fibroids, and PMDD. But I'm starting to understand that common doesn't mean normal. Shouldn't mean normal. And it shouldn't be ignored, dismissed, or hidden.
Do we accept back pain as normal? Absolutely not. We shouldn't accept menstruation pain as normal either.
Because when pain is dismissed, people are dismissed too
I've read too many stories.
When I started the Fâmme.visible community on Facebook, I wanted to understand if I was the only one feeling how I felt. A bit angry. Still in pain. The group has nearly 500 women who answered the question: What was lacking in your health journey?
"My doctor said it was all in my head." "I was diagnosed years too late." "I have no support from my family."
This might sound dramatic, but behind every one of these responses is a lifetime of silent suffering and missed diagnoses.
The first step to healing is being heard.
I don't claim to have every answer, obviously I'm no expert, but I know how much it matters to hear someone say: "I believe you." When the endometriosis specialist looked at me after I listed all my symptoms from years of pain, he said: "Yes, you have endo. I'm 99% sure you have endo."
And that felt good. So so so good.
Because when pain is dismissed, people are dismissed too. And that has consequences: late diagnoses, isolation, personal gaslighting, and a painful disconnection from our own bodies.
I can't tell you how many times I tell myself how weak I must be. I go from "this is hurting so much" to "I'm sure this isn't that bad, you just exaggerate everything."
I want the culture to shift. And to be honest, I can see I'm not the only one.
I want to hold space for the raw, real stories. Your stories. And then, together, we might start building a community where listening becomes the foundation of care.
If you've been told to "just deal with it," I get it. Your pain is real, and talking about it matters.
That's literally why I want Fâmme to exist.
